Finding Peace In Uncertainty

Dear Ones. These are uncertain times and I know this provokes discomfort and anxiety for many of us. As humans we like to feel in control. It makes us feel safe. But what if the ultimate safety is learning to find an unconditional okayness even in the midst of uncertainty - okayness no matter our circumstances.

Three and a half years ago, I got a doctor’s opinion (as I like to call it) that I was terminally ill. As a result, I’ve had a lot of practice living with uncertainty these last years. Although there have been many ups and downs, what I’ve discovered is well-being exists in every condition, regardless of the outcome. 

I’ve also come to appreciate that we are always living in the lap of uncertainty, no matter how in control we seem to be. 

Life is fragile and precious.

Making friends with uncertainty, with my fear, with death has opened a doorway to all sorts of everyday miracles; a patch of blue in an otherwise cloudy sky, the sound of a child laughing, green shoots bravely sprouting in spite of a snowstorm. Simple things that break my heart open and take my breath away. They open me to living in awe. 

Now, as the structures that seemingly hold our lives together come to a halt, we are all being given an opportunity to befriend uncertainty. Maybe it can be our ally in reconstructing our personal and collective world in a kinder, more gentle and just way.

Much love to you all and countless well wishes. 

Here is a little poem about uncertainty that emerged recently.


This Uncertain Life

One day
the people awoke
to a different
world.
Forced off
a merry-go-round
of never-ending
activity
the gears of society
slowed
slowed
slowed
until an eerie
stillness fell across 
the land like
soft newborn snow.
Some looked away
Some clung to 
frayed edges of 
distraction
Some dared to peek
at the refracted
light of this blistering 
new reality.
“What do we do?“
was the shaky refrain
whispered in hearts around the globe.
Lives hang in
the balance.
Maybe ours?
Maybe someone’s
we love?
Yet, we are called to
sit in our place,
steady,
balancing on teetering
pillars of uncertainty.
The foundational cracks 
were here all along
hidden in 
unrelenting busyness
chasing after our lives
like a dog unable
to catch it’s tail.
Life
has always
been fragile.. . 
Now,
sitting
sitting
sitting
we can choose to see
choose to feel
choose to love
the interdependent
world which has
been before us 
all along
recalling the light
of humanity’s goodness
while we sit
and listen 
to the lustrous joy
of children
at play.




Stay… . .

Dear Ones. As we are under stay at home orders to stem the coronavirus outbreak and many of our everyday activities have come to a standstill, I thought I’d post this poem. Since modern life moves fast, stopping, can be a challenge. But it is now necessary for the greater good and safety of our communities. We are all in this together, inextricably interconnected in the Whole. And within spaciousness a sense of unconditional well being can arise evening the midst of uncertainty.

Much much love to you all.


Stay

What is this melancholy
this grief
a subterranean ocean
i did not know
existed
The urge to push 
her away
produces
an odd
smile
I think of
a teacher of mine
suggesting we
speak to our
fickle minds
like a training lesson
for dogs
“Stay”
“Stay”
“Stay”
The zest to feel good
to be excited
to be entertained
can derail
the sweet richness
embedded in
the dark 
soil of
honest
sadness
I put on 
my miners
cap
and look
at the underground
fragments
illuminated
in this tender
light
Tears,
ache
and joy
intertwine
at once
holding
a heart
full 
of what
has
and 
hasn’t
been
and 
may 
be
no
more
Settledness
sinks
into the depths
of my
belly
Pain 
loss
longing
swirl  
in the 
gentle breeze
of
delight
It’s a
blessing
to come
home
in this
simple
moment 
of 
life
knowing
all 
I have
to do
is
“Stay”




The Cure Is Love

Dear Ones. Last night after consuming too much news, I drew myself a bath sprinkled with some lovely oil essences. As I slipped into the warm water, I could feel myself begin to let go. Let go of accumulated grief - world grief - that was affecting me more than I realized. It felt soothing and cleansing to let the oils and waters draw this out of me. As I relaxed, I received a message:
“The cure is Love”

Let’s not forget the curative power of love: 
love we feel for ourselves
love we show to others
love for our communities and Mother Earth
and the boundless, unconditional love of spirit which is our true nature.

Even during the most trying times, love is the cure.

Here is a poem I wrote the other day while I watched a storm approach. It speaks to a kind of holy love that infuses everything - even in the midst of density.

The air
fortressed with moisture
marched closer
slowly swallowing 
mountains till even
their ghostly 
outlines
faded
Just like that
the sky
lost its glow
hanging heavy
amongst trees
and buds
desperately trying
to sprout new growth.
Move inward
slow to the lumbering rain’s
temperamental timing
we don’t know
when it will 
lift
The sun of
our lives seems 
distant in 
this dense field
But only
days ago
we took it’s 
boisterous hubbub
for granted.
Now, the internal
calls us
to walk a path
we cannot
see.
instinctively guided
Imprints of sacred 
footholds
cradling
our balance
Perhaps this
is how we can tread
through the narrows?
Perhaps this is how
we can be stalwart
like the tree
when it cannot see it’s
forest friends?
Within the foggy unknown
surrender
Listen to God
in the 
silent raindrops.



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